... or the year ends. If I'm being realistic, this is going to be my last blog post while I am here in Ecuador. There is about a month left, and I am going to be crazy busy, so I thought I would share a few thoughts before I leave.
A consistent theme this year has been falling in love (please see the poem to the left by Pedro Arrupe). With Ecuador, Mt. Sinai, neighbors, the parish, youth group... the list goes on and on. But as my time comes to a close here, I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I have left or will leave here. Sure I grew more than I could have ever imagined, and often feel like I have taken more than I could ever give. But what did I do?? What good deeds did I leave Mt. Sinai with?? That question has creeped into my mind more than I would like to admit.
July is the month of goodbyes. It is a month of tears, of laughter, of fear, of nervousness, of joy, and of reflection. It is the month to soak it all in, and to say everything you want to say, because the time I spend in Ecuador from this point forward will never be the same. It sounds harsh, but it's reality.
But with goodbyes come heartfelt moments, where loved ones share everything that this year has meant to them, and I can share what this year has meant to me. They are moments that are filled with grace and love, that remind me why I came here in the first place. I didn't come to accomplish anything, to do, to save the world. I came here to enter into life with the people of Mt. Sinai, to share, to accompany, to live, and to experience what it means to see the Face of Christ. These goodbyes, they affirm me in a weird sort of way. The fact that they are so painful, that even the thought of them brings me to tears, lets me know that I came here and I fell in love. I have fallen in love with joy, with hope, with tears and with struggle, with grace, with the sunset, with a child's smile, with the poor and suffering, with Mt.Sinai, with God, and with humanity.
This year was never meant to be an accomplishment, it was meant to learn how to live, to fall in love and to stay in love.
A consistent theme this year has been falling in love (please see the poem to the left by Pedro Arrupe). With Ecuador, Mt. Sinai, neighbors, the parish, youth group... the list goes on and on. But as my time comes to a close here, I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I have left or will leave here. Sure I grew more than I could have ever imagined, and often feel like I have taken more than I could ever give. But what did I do?? What good deeds did I leave Mt. Sinai with?? That question has creeped into my mind more than I would like to admit.
July is the month of goodbyes. It is a month of tears, of laughter, of fear, of nervousness, of joy, and of reflection. It is the month to soak it all in, and to say everything you want to say, because the time I spend in Ecuador from this point forward will never be the same. It sounds harsh, but it's reality.
But with goodbyes come heartfelt moments, where loved ones share everything that this year has meant to them, and I can share what this year has meant to me. They are moments that are filled with grace and love, that remind me why I came here in the first place. I didn't come to accomplish anything, to do, to save the world. I came here to enter into life with the people of Mt. Sinai, to share, to accompany, to live, and to experience what it means to see the Face of Christ. These goodbyes, they affirm me in a weird sort of way. The fact that they are so painful, that even the thought of them brings me to tears, lets me know that I came here and I fell in love. I have fallen in love with joy, with hope, with tears and with struggle, with grace, with the sunset, with a child's smile, with the poor and suffering, with Mt.Sinai, with God, and with humanity.
This year was never meant to be an accomplishment, it was meant to learn how to live, to fall in love and to stay in love.
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